DOI

I've decided that my panicking is just an attempt on the part of my brain to refocus my attention on things that aren't that bad. Now I bet you are staring at the screen and thinking WTF is this chick talking about?

Well, I'll explain it, dummies.

See, instead of panicking about important shit, I somehow only panic about some dumbass, stupid stuff that no one actually cares about, including ME. Example: I had an exam this morning. In a subject I think I might actuallly want to practice some day. And last night, instead of panicking over the fact that I hadn't studied and had only a few hours left before actually taking the exam, I, in my inimitable style, was panicking about whether I should get out of my nice, warm bed to walk the three feet across my living room to pull out the plug on the Christmas lights.

Doi.

Then when I woke up at 5:30 AM, I opened my eyes and immediately started freaking because I was afraid that I wouldn't have enough time to eat breakfast, watch the news, shower, dress and pack up my stuff in order to make it to the 8:15 bus to make my 9 o'clock exam... yeah, the one I had YET to study for.

Forget the fact that it is approaching one week that my rent is late, and I haven't yet gotten my hands on the cash required to pay it.

What me worry?

So I'm thinking that my brain, without my knowledge, is like "This chick is gonna lose it if I let her panic about some important shit, you know like rotten milk or getting evicted, so we'll just distract her with stupid shit like whether Christmas lights have a negative (translation:burning) effect on fake plastic trees (purchased at Target with a credit card that STILL has an outstanding balance 5 years later...) oops, oops back to the lights, back to the lights..."

Thanks, brain, for keeping it so real.