The Bus

So I know it's been a while since you heard from me, but don't be tricked into thinking that I've been calm, cool and collected all this time. Psh please fools. I just haven't had any time, what with my finals and then my big move to NC for the summer. Oh yeah. I'm in Charlotte, home of the Lowe's Motor Speedway (or as we locals call it, the LMS. Take that, Yankees!) Anyway, so there's been plenty of fodder for panic down here, I can tell you. Here's a brief example: I have to take the bus to work. Obviously this poses MULTIPLE problems but one in particular was givin' me fits. I bought a Weekly Bus Pass with no concept of how to use it once on the bus. I'm not a bus rider; the few times I ventured into that mode of public transportation, I was drunk and threw a buck 20 at the driver's face while he sputtered in annoyance and asked me to please be careful if I need to be sick. So anyway, day one comes, and I carefully step on the bus, the outward picture of sanity but FREAKING OUT on the inside... I look at the driver and hold out my pass. He looks down at the ticket taker machine. He looks back at me. I look down at the machine. No one speaks. The bus stays stopped. The other riders are shifting uncomfortably in their seats and I am DYING INSIDE. I finally say, I'm new here, where do I put this? He rolls his eyes at me, turns around and rolls his eyes at the other passengers, then points to one of the three different card slots on the machine. (I don't get this. They can't make one that reads all the cards? Every other city in the civilized world has managed it... they can't???) I stick it. It comes back out. I grab it and head speedily to the back of the bus... just in time for the driver to slam on the gas. My bag of shoes and lunch immediately rolls down the aisle and I sway and scramble to pick up my items, while everyones sniggers and laughs at the dumb girl who doesn't know anything. = my worst nightmare. The moral of the story: don't ride the bus in Charlotte if you are prone to panic attacks. Strike that: don't ride the bus in Charlotte EVER. (It should be noted here that after a week and a half of sticking my pass in this one slot, a new driver tells me I've been using the wrong one, and to use a different one. What? WHAT?! Again, this happened with a bus-full of onlookers. Ridic.